My Hopes and Dreams: Putting it out in the Universe (Or at least out on the Internet)

I was supposed to be a movie star. I was pretty adamant about it my whole life. Being a teacher was not the plan. Living in Eudora, Kansas was definitely not the plan. I actually doubted whether I’d ever settle down and get married and have kids….. But….

Here I am. My name is April Peavey. I have been an Elementary Teacher for 10 years now. I live and teach in Eudora, Kansas. I have an amazing, handsome, loving husband, and two wild, entertaining, adorable children. Teddy is seven years old and Penelope is four years old.

When I look around, I can see, “I’ve got it good!” I have the house, the husband, the kids, the cars, friends, a supportive family, and more. We live comfortably. No, we aren’t jet-setting around the world on extravagant vacations, and no, I can’t afford to buy what I want when I walk into an Anthropologie store, but we’re fine.

So…. Why do I feel so blah? Why am I drained? Why do I crave more out of life? I suppose we all feel that way, right?

What are we making for dinner?

Who’s picking up Penny from preschool this afternoon?

Are these dishes clean?

Do you have homework?

Did you switch over the laundry?

Anything interesting to watch on Netflix tonight?

Sound familiar?

My social media accounts look picturesque. My kids are smiling. We are out and about…. But….. It doesn’t feel satisfying. My life feels monotonous most days. I’m just not happy because I can’t shake the feeling that there’s something missing.

Alright… lets rewind for a moment, so I don’t sound like a completely privileged, first-world-problems, take-my-my-life-for-granted, white girl….

Although this was not the life I’d envisioned, I was comfortable AND happy… for a long time actually. The beginning years of teaching and starting our family were exhilarating. I was stressed out and sleep deprived but it all felt “right.”

But over the last couple years, it started to feel less “right.” This feeling started slowly; just a nagging voice telling me this wasn’t the life I wanted, but I pushed through. I justified my choices.

  • Being a teacher isn’t perfect, but you can’t beat the schedule!
  • I live close to my parents who have been a great support system to us.
  • Eudora is a great place to raise a family.
  • I’ve already invested so much into this job and community. People know me here.

I would never dream of giving up those comforts! I may not be happy, but I am logical and disciplined. I know the grass is not always greener on the other side. I know in my mind that my life is fine, so my heart can just shut up now!

And then, I woke up. All of a sudden, comfort was no longer a factor I wanted to consider when making life choices. I only have one life to live, damnit- Let’s go live it! Screw comfort!

Great! I knew I needed a change- so empowering! But…. I had NO IDEA what I wanted to do- so frustrating. I started going to counseling, reading self-help books, meditating, journaling, etc. etc. I was going to figure my shit out, by golly! And as I sit here, flipping through my journal, here, for your amusement and mine: My top 10 list of career changes I’ve considered in the past 4 months:

10. Actress

9. Corporate Trainer

8. Social Media Associate

7. Real estate agent

6. Founder of My Own Commune

5. Professional Public Speaker

4. Travel Agent

3. Children’s Book Author

2. Host of my Own Children’s TV Show

1. Artist

And that about brings you up to speed. (I swear I’m not a flaky, indecisive person. I’ve been in the same job for 10 years and been married for 11. I still have clothes I wore in High School.)

Anyways, after a lot of reflection, research, coffee, wine, tears, laughter, and conversations with people who know me well and people I don’t know at all, I think I’ve finally figured it out. So now, drum roll please…… My current career aspiration- my hopes and dreams:

I want to teach over-seas! I want to sell everything and move across the world with my little family. I want to jump way out of my comfort-zone and meet new people and see new things. I want adventure, and the thought of this is the first thing that’s felt “right” in a long time.

The purpose of this blog will be to chronicle this process and hopefully our soon-to-be travel experiences. I hope you’ll send good vibes our way and stay tuned for our journey’s stories. Fingers crossed that next year at this time, I’ll be writing this blog from Singapore or Dubai or Brazil or Germany. Time will tell.

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